Who Should Sit on the Iron Throne?

*****!!!!!SPOILERS!!!!!*****

Every ASoIaF/ GoT fan has an opinion on who might be the best candidate for the Iron Throne. I am no exception. I actually have two opinions. One, the throne must be destroyed and they should all have Anarchy. Not “stupid chaos” (which is what people usually mean when they say “anarchy”), but life so intelligent and responsible that there is no need for authority. I do think that Anarchy in this sense would be the highest stage of human evolution. But let’s be realistic here—the GoT society is not mature enough for that. So the next best option would be an awesome ruler. And if you ask me, who that person might be, I would say…

SAM!!

Yes, yes, I do have a special place in my heart for Sam. First of all, he is a bookish nerd. I too am a nerd, my husband is a nerd, and almost all of my favorite people in the world are nerds. So, you know, I am biased towards such characters. His most important quality is that he knows and respects history, so he has a broad understanding of the consequences of various political decisions. This quality is lacking in most of today’s rulers.

Of course, Sam started as a wussy, but he has proven to sometimes act badass, when the situation demands it. For example, in A Feast for Crows he ended up taking charge of the delegation to the Citadel. We see him maturing throughout the series, and he is definitely becoming smarter and less fearful. He is also kind and not classist, unlike, say, Tywin and Cersei. Moreover, I cannot picture Sam becoming a tyrant, as he looks like one who would actually listen to people and take their needs into account. Unlike Tommen, who is currently a pawn in the hands of scheming advisors, Sam would process the information intelligently (a Mentat! woo!) and make smart decisions, even if it came to the game of thrones. With practice, he could learn to participate in the power play, keeping the maximum amount of lords and ladies happy with carefully orchestrated marriages and alliances.

Ladies love him, too! from here: http://imgur.com/gallery/aW93RmC

Ladies love him, too! from here: http://imgur.com/gallery/aW93RmC

All is well, you would say, but there is one little thing—Sam lacks charisma. Yep, he is no strong man or sexy lady. But he could use a really charismatic figure as an ally, so that they would be inextricably linked in the popular mind. Jon Snow would be an obvious candidate. Maybe the continent would become a federation of kingdoms, each with their own king or queen, and Sam and his council as overseers. He would be a great master of alliances, as he has or could potentially have good allies in all of the major houses. His best friend is Jon, who is currently working with Stannis (Jon is not dead, you guys). At the Citadel he may become friends with Alleras, who is most certainly Oberyn’s daughter Sarella Sand. The maester who went to Essos to meet Dany was Marwyn, but who said that Sam won’t go there eventually? He would definitely get along famously with Tyrion, and if the latter allies with Dany, Sam could be the peacekeeper between her and the North. Last but not least, his family is affiliated with Highgarden.

All right, on to Sam’s actual claim to the throne. Even if the reasons above weren’t entirely crazy, you could say that claim-wise he has nada. Zilch. Dick. No royal parents, etc. But there are two microscopic plot-buds that could potentially blossom into something huge for Sam. First, the fact that Sam’s mentor, Maester Aemon, was offered the crown years ago. He refused in favor of the Wall, offering the throne to his brother Egg (Aegon V). Egg was the grandfather of Aerys II, so if Aemon took the throne, there would be no Mad King. Sam is Aemon’s principal follower, and, in a way, his descendant. His becoming a maester-king would kind of put history back on the intended track.

Second, at the very end of the fifth book, Sam’s fuckface dad, Randyll Tarly, becomes Tommen’s new justiciar. This is a big career step for him, and GRRM could find a way to put him on the Iron Throne. What? Never was it set in stone that Westeros can have only a king or a queen, and not a military junta. GRRM has already referred to our recent history many times by introducing, for example, evil banks and religious zealots. Why not a fucking Pinochet?

(As a side note, those who claim that ASoIaF is not feminist might be out of their minds. Randyll Tarly is one of GRRM’s most execrable characters, and he is basically a patriarchal caricature. This character is a condemnation of the “strong man”-centric worldview).

Randyll

Randyll Tarly. He sucks! from here: http://de.gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Randyll_Tarly

But all that doesn’t matter. The one and only serious argument in favor of Sam is that placing him on the throne would be a massive in-joke. My husband and I seriously suspect that Samwell is actually GRRM himself. So his claim, actually, is the bestest of them all! HELL FUCK YEA!!

 

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